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It´s the same day and I´m moving slowly so as not to hurt her. Our shades are down as well. With the long evenings it´s necessary even after 6 PM. Bent over on her haunches, squatting and breathing sharply. I actually pulled her into the bedroom and I can´t remember if she resisted and I didn´t look at Diego who surely looked at me dragging her down the hall. But now here, in this slatted darkness, I´m uncapable of sustaining the violent anger. I soften a little, literally, and start to withdraw. Isa looks back at me, curious. We hadn´t fallen into bed, she banging her fists on my chest etc ... Rather, it had been a hissing argument behind the closed door with her fierce denials over how involved she was eventually giving way to this:

Yo merezco! Yo merezco algo mejor!!
We all think we fucking deserve more goddamnit!! You stole!! From my parents!!

I had started crying again.

No robe nada! Eso fueron los otros ... y dale con el Ingles.
I´m Canadian. I fucking speak fucking English!
Claro. Salvo si sos de Montreal.

I hit her then. But I blocked the swing halfway through and it wasn´t a very convincing slap. She had then grabbed my balls and I had tried to pull away and slipped on the ceramic tile floor. The fall looked way worse than it was - I barely felt a thing given the adrenaline. But Isa bent down quickly looking honestly concerned.

Te juro. No arme esto. Te lo juro ...
When did you meet Kabede?

I asked using the unshortened version of his name.

In the trivia room at Universochat ...
Christ ... just like the way we met.
I had no idea he knew you. That was later ... by then he was in Buenos Aires.
Was he still in Tel Aviv when you first met?
Yes I think so ...

She answered uncertainly. So we had begun negotiating with each other. We would either fall apart right there and then with me lashing out and storming off. Or we would negotiate, seeing that me running out on this set up could be dangerous. It wasn´t part of Kabe´s plan and it could leave me vulnerable to some sort of reprisal. Diego´s presence right out there in the living room was unavoidable after all. I still wasn´t sure of his role in all this. But I suspected Kabe had lured him as well, bit by bit.

So that´s why it´s been so hard since Diego´s return ... You knew this moment was coming. That either I´d figure things out or Kabe would force the situation a little to make sure ...
A little? Amor, yo estoy esperando varios meses ya.

She says the word naturally, convincingly. Amor. I can´t help it. I should hate. But I don´t. And there in the now quiet bedroom it becomes aparent that our destiny is together, even if I´m the fool in some complex sting. No femme fatale who lures. loves, decives and leaves me ... nope. We two will likely be stuck together for some time to come. I might seem delusional but it´s real what we have and I need to find some way of digesting and accepting that I´m part of all this and that I have been for some time.

I was worried when you left. If you went to Kabe .... what would happen?

Isa´s voice is low and sweet. If it´s an act I don´t care and soon yes we are on the bed and now entangled and now I´m trying to slowly withdraw - the painful part usually. She asks softly,

Estas ok?

Is that a fishing expedition? Is she wondering whether I´m up to whatever Kabe has planned for us two? Or maybe she wants to know just that ... if I´m ok.

I slip out and then lay on my back for a moment. Then I try masturbating with her lying on my chest. It works for a while as she kisses the tight little folds around my armpit but then I lose the thread and stop. She slides over to the side and I notice how lovely her legs are. All of her. Her tousled hair, that she tries so hard to straighten. Her mediterranean nose as I like to say. Her thin strong arms and wide shoulders that excite me so. Her heart shaped ass that pouts wonderfully from atop her thighs. But no, it´s something else. Yes, she is beautiful. But it´s our complicity and my long and wandering road towards acceptance of that complicity. That´s the marrow of it all between me and Isadora. An apt and cheerful conversation it certainly is not. Or very rarely. But we talk like no other for me. And this is now a complicity several shades more dangerous than the isolated refuge we had built for ourselves away from ex husbands and families and memories of my failures in Canada.

This is now our grand return. Two mules sent to do some thieves work. Can we make it work? I feel a rush of energy and turn and kiss her belly and then move lower. She guides me pulling my hair this way and that, but gently. And I gently, gently kiss and pull my lips over her vaginal lips. Not even sucking just a lazy sweet slide that I repeat over and over again. She comes, her pelvis rotating quickly, her vagina opening and closing like a mouth. She doesn´t even try to suffocate her little yells. Then she pushes my head away. It´s too sensitive right now, and I climb on top, hard again thank god, and slip inside her. We kiss a lot, yes. And then I´m coming inside her, not pulling out this time. She tries to push me out for a moment but then just grabs me and lets me ejaculate inside of her.

Let´s see. I´ve never understood all this death and collapse just because a little semen has spilled from one´s penis. Way too many words spent ( unavoidable pun ) trying to describe the moment. I don´t lose myself, my self is very much present trying to guide my body towards something shared and intimate. Rather than worry what will happen to us. To Allard. To Isa. To Diego. To all of us. It´s a good orgasm and I lay breathing deeply. I have no idea if I´m a quiet fuck as I´ve been told some time ago. Were we nosiy? Who cares. Isa curls up against me and pushes her forehead into my chest like an animal burrowing.

Has the sun fallen much? It´s hard to tell with the watery light filtering through the shades ( persianas they say here ). It´s one of the details I love about our bedroom. How the lines of light drift slowly across the walls and the closet´s red wooden doors. What time is it? I think we´ve been sleeping and I turn my head to see Isa´s face turned towards me with her eyes shut. I usually find her facing the other way when I wake up. Maybe beccause I´m hard to cuddle with when I´m asleep. Like a wounded animal she says. Is she asleep? I stroke her hair, unadorned tresses wore dishelved, if not golden. She twitches and mutters. It could be a sleeping person´s movements but I know her enough to recognize her half-awake dozing state. A state in which she must not be disturbed. So I move my hand away and ease over to my side of the bed. The air sliding through the windows and shades is a little fresher. It must be close to sunset. I pull the sheets up a little over Isa and slip on my shorts. They´re still a little damp from the day´s exertions. Just in time. Diego knocks and opens the door without waiting for me to answer. He´s got a mate in his hand but his face is all business. He waves me over to him and walks back out into the hallway. I follow him out wondering what order of business we have to attend to now. The lights are off in the living room save for the lamp next to the pc. It´s early dusk. He sits down at the table next to the wall and I sit down on the chair at the desk.

You have to bring money back from Canada.
What money?
Kabe´s money. He´s keeping it in your account.
What the hell?? In my account ... he deposited money into my bank account??
Yes. It´s safer there but now he needs it.

I want to giggle histerically but the sex has left me drained.

I don´t believe this ...
Che, te lo explico ...